I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize