it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
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What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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