:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize