tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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