i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize