So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
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We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
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After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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