That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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