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5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
barbara walters just said penis...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
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