I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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