drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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