It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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