She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize