So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
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You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
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If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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