I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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