i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
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Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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