So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
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She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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