It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
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i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
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You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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