3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
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So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
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How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
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