You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize