sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize