let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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