I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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