Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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