it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
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He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
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We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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