Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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