My boss' voice literally gives me gas
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize