Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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