i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
ttyl tear gas
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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