That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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