so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize