I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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