I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize