Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize