I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
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I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
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TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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