I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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