I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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