Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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