She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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