she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize