Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
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