woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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