Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize