bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize