I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize