the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize