I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
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Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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