This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize