Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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