can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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