I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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